Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cascade 1200 Mad Libs




OK Gang,
I couldn't help noticing how everybody's experience on the same ride can be so different.  Sure, we are on the same course, but we are spread out over hours, and our abilities cover quite a range.  I thought I would help out and give a template everyone could use to describe their experience.  Play with a friend!











Cascade 1200 Mad Libs

(Explicative)!  That was quite a ride!

I tried to describe what a 1200K was to someone, and they seemed a bit (Adjective).  After I told them 1200K is (Number) miles, they exclaimed, "Heck, I wouldn't even take a (Vehicle) that far!

Lining  up at the start, I was oddly both (Emotion Adjective) yet (Emotion Adjective).  Once we rolled out, I felt better and settled down to the task at hand. It was fun chatting with the fast guys as we rolled through familiar roads towards Issaquah.

Over the course of four days, I went through some pretty big swings.  At times I was (Emotion Adjective), (Emotion Adjective), and even (Emotion Adjective).

I suppose the worst was when I needed to stop at the gas station  for some (Over The Counter Medicine); until it kicked in, I was pretty sure I would DNF with (Disease)(Name) reminded me I had (Number) hours in the bank, so I shouldn't panic. That was good advice; I bounced back over the next few hours.

Riding along each night as the full moon rose was a wonderful experience.  I rode for hours with a moon shadow version of myself keeping me company.

You can get some good stuff at mini-marts; who knew there were so many calories in (Food) or (Food).

The control workers were (Adjective), (Adjective), yet (Adjective).  When I was (State of Mind) they fed me a combination of (Food), (Food), and (Beverage) that sounds horrible, but it really hit the spot.

The third day was the hardest for me;  it lasted (Number) days.  There were (Number) tough climbs, but it was the heat that really got to me.  At times if felt like it was (Number) degrees.   

I really liked riding with (Name) and (Name) from the local club as well as the guy from (Country) and the woman from (Country).  They made the time pass quickly.  I'm glad we were able to avoid the (Animal) that attacked us on Loup Loup pass.

On the way down Loup Loup, I got (Name of Song) by (Name of Band) stuck in my head.  That seemed appropriate, and I sung out loud as the miles passed.

As I got to the top of the last pass, I thought I was home free.  Just then, I got (Sickness) and thought I was done again.  This ride just kept coming!  I mean, right up until the finish, I suspected my (Bike Part) or my (Bike Part) which started squeaking would finally give out, but it held.   I had an extra in my drop bag, but it would be no help on the road.

As we approached the finish, I didn't feel my sore (Body Parts Plural) and (Body Part) at all; I just felt great.  I pedaled (Adverb) for the first time in days.  My (Body Parts Plural) are still numb, and I wonder if I will ever feel my (Body Part) again.  I have never been scabbed on my (Body Part) before; that's a first.

In total, I suspect I slept (Number) hours, while the (Adjective) guys were able to get quite a bit more then that.


I've been (Bodily Function) and (Bodily Function) pretty much constantly since the finish.  (Name of Prescription Medicine) and caffeine seem to help.

Looks like I'll be going to (City) in 2011.  What an experience that will be!

Thanks again, SIR.

9 comments:

  1. Dude! You're amazing. I'm in awe of your wonderful achievement, especially after sitting in Granite Falls with you and listening to you process the day.

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  2. Cascade 1200 Mad Libs

    (fashizzle)! That was quite a ride!

    I tried to describe what a 1200K was to someone, and they seemed a bit (catatonic). After I told them 1200K is (a shit-load) miles, they exclaimed, "Heck, I wouldn't even take a (10 dollar whore) that far!

    Lining up at the start, I was oddly both (scared shitless) yet (crapping in my pants). Once we rolled out, I felt better and settled down to the task at hand. It was fun chatting with the fast guys as we rolled through familiar roads towards Issaquah.

    Over the course of four days, I went through some pretty big swings. At times, I was (contemplating suicide), (wishing to just be taken by Lucifer), and even (sobbing uncontrollably).

    I suppose the worst was when I needed to stop at the gas station for some (quinine); until it kicked in, I was pretty sure I would DNF with (Ebola). (God) reminded me I had (an eternal damnation) hours in the bank, so I shouldn't panic. That was good advice; I bounced back over the next few hours.

    Riding along each night as the full moon rose was a wonderful experience. I rode for hours with a moon shadow version of my self keeping me company.

    You can get some good stuff at mini-marts; who knew there were so many calories in (a bore’s head), or (a pound of my own fleche).

    The control workers were (sadistic), (cruel), yet (persistent). When I was (comatose) they fed me a combination of (haggis), (liver,) and (mead) that sounds horrible, but it really hit the spot.

    The third day was the hardest for me; it lasted (10,000) days. There were (10,000) tough climbs, but it was the heat that really got to me. At times if felt like it was (10,000) degrees.

    I really liked riding with (Lucifer), and (the ghost of Ichabod Crane) from the local club, as well as the guy from (Transylvania) and the woman from (Atlantis). They made the time pass quickly. I'm glad we were able to avoid the (Werewolf) that attacked us on Loup Loup pass.

    On the way down Loup Loup, I got (Paranoid) by (Black Sabbath) stuck in my head. That seemed appropriate, and I sung out loud as the miles passed.

    As I got to the top of the last pass, I thought I was home free. Just then, I got (explosive diarrhea) and thought I was done again. This ride just kept coming! I mean right up until the finish, I suspected my (support bra) or my (depends) which started squeaking would finally give out, but it held. I had an extra in my drop bag, but it would be no help on the road.

    As we approached the finish, I didn't feel my sore (scrotum) and (taint) at all; I just felt great. I pedaled (without pain) for the first time in days. My (nuts) are still numb, and I wonder if I will ever feel my (desire to live) again. I have never been scabbed on my (foreskin) before; that's a first.

    In total, I suspect I slept (2) hours, while the (demonically possessed) guys were able to get quite a bit more than that.


    I've been (farting), and (experiencing a puss discharge) pretty much constantly since the finish. (penicillin) and caffeine seem to help.

    Looks like I'll be going to (Baghdad) in 2011. What an experience that will be!

    Thanks again, SIR.

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  3. Awesome post, Joe.

    I'd like to give special mention for Chris' "That's Rando" with the duct taped ankle that he rode over Washington Pass with.

    Keep it up!

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  4. (Cock'n'balls)! That was quite a ride!

    I tried to describe what a 1200K was to someone, and they seemed a bit (retarded). After I told them 1200K is (20) miles, they exclaimed, "Heck, I wouldn't even take a (Segway) that far!

    Lining up at the start, I was oddly both (goofy) yet (endearing). Once we rolled out, I felt better and settled down to the task at hand. It was fun chatting with the fast guys as we rolled through familiar roads towards Issaquah.

    Over the course of four days, I went through some pretty big swings. At times, I was (depressed), (sad), and even (heart broken).

    I suppose the worst was when I needed to stop at the gas station for some (Tums); until it kicked in, I was pretty sure I would DNF with (belly fat). (Jesus) reminded me I had (-10) hours in the bank, so I shouldn't panic. That was good advice; I bounced back over the next few hours.

    Riding along each night as the full moon rose was a wonderful experience. I rode for hours with a moon shadow version of my self keeping me company.

    You can get some good stuff at mini-marts; who knew there were so many calories in (chewing gum), or (water).

    The control workers were (crazy), (stubborn), yet (soft). When I was (introspective) they fed me a combination of (pop rocks), (beef jerky), and (diet Snapple) that sounds horrible, but it really hit the spot.

    The third day was the hardest for me; it lasted (12) days. There were (60 some odd) tough climbs, but it was the heat that really got to me. At times if felt like it was (85!) degrees.

    I really liked riding with (Joe) and (Chris) from the local club as well as the guy from (Israel) and the woman from (Palestine). They made the time pass quickly. I'm glad we were able to avoid the (field mouse) that attacked us on Loup Loup pass.

    On the way down Loup Loup, I got (Chocolate Rain) by (that one kid on You Tube) stuck in my head. That seemed appropriate, and I sung out loud as the miles passed.

    As I got to the top of the last pass, I thought I was home free. Just then, I got (poopy butt) and thought I was done again. This ride just kept coming! I mean right up until the finish, I suspected my (handlebar tape) or my (quick release) which started squeaking would finally give out, but it held. I had an extra in my drop bag, but it would be no help on the road.

    As we approached the finish, I didn't feel my sore (toes) and (taint) at all; I just felt great. I pedaled (rottenly) for the first time in days. My (bittles) are still numb, and I wonder if I will ever feel my (wangina) again. I have never been scabbed on my (heart) before; that's a first.

    In total, I suspect I slept (2) hours, while the (doper) guys were able to get quite a bit more then that.


    I've been (eating), and (yawning) pretty much constantly since the finish. (EPO) and caffeine seem to help.

    Looks like I'll be going to (Beirut) in 2011. What an experience that will be!

    Thanks again, SIR.

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  5. OMG you guys slay me completely!

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  6. You've got my vote for Rando ride report of year! You killed me with this. Unfortunately due to having now raised two kids through the mad libs stage, filling in one more adverb or over the counter medicine in a mad lib would send me over the edge to a (adjective) mental state from which I may never (verb).

    Steve

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  7. Great picture of Jeff riding the white line. Did he pass the field sobriety test?

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  8. Great post, but I can't read your blog at work anymore. Coffee out my nose and all over my laptop after reading Greg's MadLib

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  9. Joe, I finally noticed this. I am not sure this report beats the roast chicken but it is right up there.

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