Saturday, September 12, 2009

Tout a Gauche

Il ne marche pas. Je marche.

I thought about calling this Ernesto and Dario's Excellent Adventure, but it wouldn't really tell the story. If it were a weekday, Ernie and Dario's Day Off would have been in serious contention.

I went out for a 200K with Bill today. It was a beautiful day a few tens of degrees hotter than last weekend. The mountain was out in full force, and it made us think of our blue shirted brothers on the 600K. Good on ya' guys!

Today's goal was to redeem myself from my DNF on the 100K and to get another R12 month under my belt. I held my tongue and didn't point out all the places we changed flats last weekend.

The Alps is basically the same route as the 100K with a bit more suffering. It's got about 9000 feet of climbing.

And then there is Alice.

The climb up to Lake Alice comes about 90 miles into the ride, and you have already had a few climbs to soften you up. The Zoo, Somerset, Tiger Mt., Squak Mt., etc. "Oh," he said, "I forgot about Squak; I suppose we'd better do that before Starbucks."

But Alice is the cruel one. At least she is with me. Bill gets along with Alice just fine. With me, she starts out nice enough. In fact, she's kind of easy at first, but she hides her evil ways from view until it's too late. Once she gets mean, she just never backs off -- not even a little -- until she's just plain old done with you. Then she spits you out and invites you back to play anytime you want. Oh yeah, she's around; just swing by and see her. You don't even need to call.

Bob B. went to France this summer and came home with some new vocabulary. Tout a gauche means all the way to the left. It means you are already in your lowest gear and there is nowhere else to go. Tout a gauche wasn't enough today.

I ended up cramped like a...well like a big cramped thing as we hit Lake Alice road. I have never ever walked on a climb. Never. I've gone really really slow, and I've stopped to rest before, but today I walked. At least I was moving forward.

Still, this ride is a totally different experience on a sunny day with enough daylight. When I rode this in the winter with Greg, who was off jumping out of a perfectly good airplane today, we finished after dark, and we were wet and cold. Today it was pretty good advice to leave my vest and arm warmers in the car.

Last time, I forgot one of my shoes and got bonus miles riding to my house with a big honkin' boot on one foot. This time, Bill fell for my cunning plan to leave my cue sheet home. This way he had to stick with me. Thanks Bill.

Continuing the trend of riding with others with stellar jerseys, Bill pulled this out. "Oh, this little thing? I just threw it on; it's nothing, really."

I'd have Lizzie build you a retaining wall for a jersey like that.

Let's play, "That's Rando!"
Bill and I went light today, so the contestants were few and the pickings slim. The best entry would have to be my flashlight and Very Large Corporation of America badge holder map clip:

Unfortunately, the international judging committee of "That's Rando!" deemed the entry insufficiently rando to earn an award. They refuse to cheapen the award with such a trival entry, and decided no entry was worthy today. The Russian judge abstained. I suppose that's how they earn their lavish salaries and international acclaim. While obviously disappointed, I understand and respect the judges decision, and I will strive to fight another day.


  1. I thought you were riding a 1200?

  2. Not sure you recall but I reconmmeded a product that works great for cramps ... for me.

    Hylands Leg Cramps with Quinine. I suspect any quinine product would probably work for me. What I like about this is that there is no swallowing, no digesting, none of that. Put a couple of these under your tongue and in two minutes they are absorbed into your blood stream.

    If you are willing and can't find them let me know and I'll send you some. I'd be interested in knowing if it's just me or if it works this well for others

    Lemmeno, Dr C

  3. Hey Dr C!

    No doubt it's time to try that.
    Plus, I can always say I'm taking it under doctor's orders!

  4. Dude, Outstanding write-up as always. I am digging the common theme.. That's so rando (Have to agree with the judges, plus you can't submit your own stuff)

    You have upped the ante on the jersey competition. I am going to have to dig deep the next time we ride!

    PS. jumping out of planes is so choice, if you have the means, I highly recommend trying it!

  5. You are nerds. All of you. I love it.