Apologies to Bob Dylan

Vinnie's in the basement
Mixing up a supplement
I'm on the pavement
Thinking about a condiment
The man in the control
Card out, sign off
Says he's got a Rohloff
Wants to get it paid off

Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better tuck down the mountain way
Lookin' for a new friend
The man in the Riv-dale cap
With the big Ben
Wants eleven speed chain
You only got ten.

Maggie comes fleet foot
Letters full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Cramps in the legs but
The clock ticks anyway
Maggie says that many say
You must ride in early May
Orders from the RBA

Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Ride with frozen toes
Just try No Doz
Better stay away from those
Who might just expose
Keep a clean nose
Smell the wool clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows.

Get sick, get light
Hang around the overnight
Get a food bite
Fix the flat right
Drink some Ensure
Watch the car door
Get out and ride some more
Tell your friends about your saddle sore

Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
No users, cheaters
Six-time anciennes
Talkin' 'bout Parisiennes
Girl ridin' so cool
Lookin' for a new fool
You can ride a beater
Turn miles into meters.

Wake up, keep warm
Free beer, rain gear, learn to spin
Get dressed, obsessed
Try to be a success
Climb up, climb down, ride fixed
Just spin, don't shift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the fleche trip

Look out kid
Your gonna want a Schmidt
Better jump over manhole
Hold on to the handle
Might wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You got to sleep some
The pump don't work
Cause the vandals took the handles.